Valentine's Day - The TSFG version

Despite the fact that I already had a low expectation going in, I decided to check out the film "Valentine's Day" a week after the release (of course). Based on Last year's success "He's Just Not That Into You" (another weak film)New Line successfully released "V.D." and got a huge box office return and will probably hit 100 mil. within the next week or so.

It was basically two hours of overkill with characters you did not need. So here's
my version of the film

CUT Out:

The Anne Hathaway/Topher GRace storyline:

There was no real conflict whatsoever. So I'm crazy about a woman with nice lips and I have to dump her because I just found out that she's running her own phone sex business which never interrupted our relationship (throughout the film) until that one moment when the guy initially finds out. In fact it interrupted her "real job" (being Latifah's secretary) more than it did in her relationship with Topher. DAMN I KEEP WANTING TO TYPE "TOFU" or "GOPHER" (GOPHER CRACE) WTF is wrong with CHRIS"TOPHER" GRACE?

And that also means Latifah's character would be gone as well...


THE PLANE RIDE with Mrs. Roberts and Bradley Cooper:
I could not for one second buy into the idea of Roberts in the military, holding any type of weaponry or even being a doctor overseas whom actually wants to touch seriously injured people, Jessica Biel may, Julia Roberts... NO!

Her storyline had nothing to do with the theme of the film thus turning it into a movie of the week or a two hour version of a "Love Boat" episode or whatever.
Cooper's character would stay in my version (more on that later)


THE TWO TAYLORs:

WTF was that all about. And Swift's little scene with J. Garner never seeme d relatable as they never intereacted with one another again throughout the rest of the film. It was just there I guess to connect the characters together(???)

And what was her relationship with the werewolf all about (in the film). I felt as if they just popped up wheneve they needed filler.

EMMA ROBERTS:

And the idea of her boyfriend being naked her house and getting caught by her mom (whom acts like she doesn't know a thing as to why this boyt is naked with roses all over the bedroom floor)this makes me wnat to ask the director, Garry Marshall "Do you really believe this scene, yourself"?


WHAT SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER?

The Jessica Biel/ Jamie Foxx dynamic:

I need to see this stroyline blossom more than a certain way Biel just looks at Foxx and it suddenly clicks for her. There needed to be more of a relationship that showed glimpses of attraction throughout as we watch it build...

Not only would you deal with the romance but you also handle the interacial element of romance which would go unspoken,(which the film did as well)..

Jennifer Garner/Ashton/Jessica Biel/Patrick Dempsey:

Again strengthen the Garner/Ashton friendship... I would have made their relationship so strong, Garner should already know he was going to propose to Alba and expected Alba to say "No" because she wasn't the one for him but never tells him until confronted at the airport when Ashton asked
"Do you think Morley and I belong together"?

Before she would answer, he could read her emotions through her eyes.

And this works both ways as when He looks at Garner and he would only say to her (in my version of the script)
"If you trust in me as a friend... You are to never see your doctor friend again", Just by reading his face and knowing him... she would instantly understand and not get on the plane... No need for the cliched revenge as he would never be seen again within the film (only mentioned in the dialogue)

And with that look, Ashton would never break the discrete agreement he had with Dempsey at the flower shop as he learns of the "wife".

Keep tha Eric Dane and Bradley Cooper storyline as brief as it was and then you've nicely handled the gay theme ALTHOUGH I thought it was foolish for him to come out as gay before resigning his football contract.... And the Bradley Cooper surprise was really no surprise even though I did not know. It's just that

Shirley MacClaine/Hector Elizondo:
Strengthen the story and turn this into a short film that's before the actual film and continues as the credits go up. 10 minutes total

And of course take out ALL of the cliches as possible.